What’s Your Story?
At its root, storytelling is about leaving a legacy. It is about not being forgotten.
At the end of every episode of my series The Story Behind Her Success I ask the question, “What’s your story? I can’t wait to hear it.”
Storytelling is a primal part of being a human being. What started out as pictures on the walls of caves continues to this day as storytelling. At its root, storytelling is about leaving a legacy. It is about not being forgotten.
Episode 236 of my series features Erin DiCarlo, Founder & President of the Dovetail Companies, based in Wilmington, MA. The proud mother of 4 has spent her adulthood working with members of the Greatest Generation. Her list of certifications include Senior Advisor, Realtor, Seniors Real Estate Specialist, Senior Move Manager, Dementia Practitioner, and Care Manager.
The average age of Erin’s client is 89. And in her words, “They’ve taught me that even if you live to be 100, it’s just the blink of an eye.” Her long-term goal is to change the way we view aging in America. In this way, she is an advocate and a powerful voice for elders everywhere.
In the interview, Erin explains that asking our elders to tell us their stories is the key to opening up their hearts and minds. In fact, when she meets a new client, she doesn’t talk about their illness. She doesn’t talk about how their house needs to be sold. She doesn’t talk about transitioning to assisted living. Instead, she asks: “What’s your story? Can you tell me about yourself?” And in that moment, there is usually a long pause, a deep breath, a sigh of relief and often tears as the person’s story unfolds. This simple question creates trust and connection.
Every family is different. I’m sure it will be no surprise to anyone reading this article that my family has always been about talking!
“As the only child of Raymond E. Low, I grew up listening to my father’s stories about what it was like to be an 18-year-old soldier on the front lines in Belgium, France, and Germany during World War II. ”
“It was freezing cold that winter. I was always shaking. We were issued two pairs of socks. One pair was on my feet and the other was on my chest, another layer of warmth while we marched. At night, we slept in fox holes, holding our weapons, ready to shoot, whispering about home, passing a cigarette. I’ve never been more exhausted or frightened in my life. We all just wanted to make it home alive.”
Raymond E. Low's helmet shows the dent from a Nazi bullet. The helmet saved his life when coming under heavy fire on March 25, 1945.
When I became a single mom, my Dad, “Bapa,” helped me raise Christopher and Colleen. He would sit at the head of the table for Sunday dinners, asking the kids about their week, carefully listening to their answers, leaning into their every word. As he grew older, faced death himself, his need to tell his stories became even more important. While the dinner plates were cleared, he sipped his vermouth in his chair and look off into the distance. He’d describe the battlefield, the boom of the cannons that left him partially deaf, and the moans of wounded soldiers as they lay dying. We came to understand that this was the place where a boy from the Bronx grew up really fast.
“It was Palm Sunday, March 25, 1945. We fought hard that day under a constant barrage of artillery fire. The Nazis were everywhere, defending their position and although we were winning the war, in that moment, we were outnumbered. I felt something hit my helmet as we started to retreat. When I finally got to the medic tent, someone said, ‘Private, you’ve got blood dripping down your face, remove your helmet.’ I took it off and the medic saw a shallow wound in the center of my forehead. He examined my helmet and said that the bullet must have ricocheted off the road and into my helmet, spun around and came out the same hole. All I needed was a bandage. So many men died that day, but not me. I guess it just wasn’t my time.”
Just 44 days later, it was VE day. We had beaten the Nazis and the war in Europe was over. My father carried that scar on his forehead for the rest of his life. This was our family’s miracle story and it was told for decades around the kitchen table. 79 years later, his World War II helmet with the bullet hole in the forehead is still the star of show & tells at school and sits proudly on display in my kitchen. His stories are our treasure and by sharing them with us, my father gave me, his grandchildren and great-grandchildren pieces of his life that will never die. Dad’s stories taught us about bravery and perseverance in the face of constant fear. These life lessons, along with his deep faith in God are Raymond E. Low’s beautiful legacy.
Becoming an advocate for our elders starts with creating a connection and storytelling is the key. Our elders are like history books, a link between the present and the past. Erin’s clients are right: time really does go by in the blink of an eye. So, the next time you get the chance to talk to the elder in your life, or someone of any age who is one step closer to heaven, just pull up a chair and ask the question: “What’s your story? I can’t wait to hear it.”
If you know someone I should interview for my podcast and radio series, visit candyoterry.com. To find out more about Erin DiCarlo and her services for seniors, visit dovetailcompanies.com.
